Thursday, October 9, 2008

Public Service Announcement: Watch Your Step

With the very pleasant weather threatening to stick around for a while, I'm sure there will be lots of people taking advantage of the outdoors for one last grasp at warm weather fun.

That said, watch where you step. Nasty business is afoot in Sunset Park. No worries - No photos.

Yesterday, around noontime, one of our local drunks spread his DNA via his mouth all over a tree well (and perhaps onto the side of a silver car parked next to it) on 44th Street. Those of us familiar with the threesome (sometimes foursome) who often hang out on the 44th and 6th entrance of Sunset Park know that none of the gentlemen looks well. With the number of viruses going around right now, avoid tree wells - and don't let your kids walk into them or pick things up from them. Vomit (especially when it's all liquid nourishment) disguises itself well in soil. And yeah, I know, dogs use tree wells for peeing, (Not particularly good for the trees either, by the way.) and the concept of getting dogs and humans to leave their bodily fluids in the street and not on the sidewalk is slow to be accepted. However, somehow, urine from a dog isn't quite as nasty as alcohol-laden vomit from a fellow human being.

Anyway, there's the info. Do with it what you like.

Another local parent found that someone was practicing safer sex near the play area of the 55th Street and 2nd Avenue park. While listening to the teenagers noisily smooch and tell each other what else they'd like to do in salty language, she found a condom (perchance not yet used?) on the playground equipment. Mmmmmm. Well, at least SHE found it, not her newly toddling daughter. I'd like to commend her for scooping it up with a paper plate and throwing it away. Above and beyond, but excellent neighborly behavior! One less renegade condom for the parks! Thanks for that.

Because it's probably not the only piece of latex (or perhaps lambskin?) hanging around and looking for trouble in our parks, watch out for those as well.

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